Overcome

When I started this blog, I wrote with the intention to reach out and comfort others who were in a similar situation. 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 The purpose was to relate to other cleft-affected families to share our struggles and triumphs while on this journey of the unknown. It's been 2 1/2 years now, and somehow I feel like we never went through all of this. It's a distant memory. If you were to have told me that back when I was pregnant, I would have thought you were crazy. Like the struggles of having a cleft child would endure forever. I can honestly say, that at that time of uncertainty, I thought that was true.

Since Coop's last surgery, it was like everything related to clefts had left my brain. With only 2 appointments after it, there really wasn't much new happening. No worries or anticipation of more surgeries, no more hour drives to the doctor, no more medical bills, no more "special" eating habits, no more tape, no more blood, and no more no no's. (If you've had a cleft baby you know what I'm talking about.:)

People rarely ever stop to ask about the scar, all they see is a happy toddler out and about. There's no more nights of crying wishing that person hadn't of stared at my child that way... 

It's almost as if we never experienced all that in the first place. Now don't get me wrong, in no way do I want to give the impression of trivializing all that we went through. Rather, I want to get the point across that even though you may be in a situation that you feel completely helpless and broken, you will get through it. There will be the time you look back on it as just a season, a memory. You will find moments to laugh about even if it came from a moment of pure distress. 

Example, Cooper soaking my pants after his palate surgery. There I was holding my bloated, coma-like child who was croaking and drooling blood all over me. I was feeling so much pain for him, when suddenly I felt this warm gush of water fill my lap. As soon as I realized what he had done, I burst out in laughter to the point of tears. Poor guy didn't even know what he did. Matthew 11:28-30

I can look back on these little moments and see our Lord's work. He always is there to comfort us in times of trouble we just have to seek Him. I really do believe I was meant to be peed on that day. I count it as God's way of letting me find some relief in such a stress-filled day. Just a little thing, but I will count it.

The last year I have been struggling with some personal issues. I have been broken, and weary, with little understanding of what God's purpose was for letting me feel that way. But in the middle of my frustration, I sought after God. I consumed myself in His word every day searching for comfort and answers. In doing so, every single time I got it. It may have not been a clear distinct answer to my problem, but I did find His promises to me as a believer Mark 11:24. He will answer my prayers, my trouble will pass as it is only a season. I just have to trust in Him and believe that it will come true according to His will. 

Psalm 37:4, 7a

I have a better understanding of my place in life. I am just here for the ride basically, and to serve Him. He will provide all I need in this life. By giving up my control, I have gained so much. 

I have never been so happy and content in my life. Even though I do have things I still desire, I know that it's in God's hands and if I don't get them, either I wasn't supposed to, or it's still waiting for me just around the corner.

I have been tested in my patience which has helped humble me James 1:2-4. I am not entitled to anything and God sure has shown me that. It's only by Him that I am able to be blessed the way I am.

I've learned to be more merciful towards others. I've learned it is better to be poor in spirit. That alone opens up so many blessings. 

Even though I have days where I just don't understand why I'm going through certain situations, I trust that it is in those times that I will find God and know that He is working in my life in someway.Mark 9:23

 I just have to trust Him and follow his will to see the reward. Hebrews 11:6

My main point to this post is, when I am weak, I am made strong. Because the power of Christ is upon me.

2 Corinthians 12:9-10

*****EXTRA SIDE NOTE:

I felt despair when searching for a home over the last few months. We put offers on 2 houses that got out bid, with no homes on the market in our area I thought we'd have to wait until the new year to find a home.

That next week after nearly giving up, we got a call from our realtor (friend from church) and she had a client  who was selling and hadn't even listed the house on the market. We agreed on the price, and a month later....

WE ARE MOVING INTO OUR FIRST HOME NEXT WEDNESDAY!!! The Douglas family are now proud homeowners!! Praise the Lord! This house fits perfectly to our family and we are so grateful everything worked out the way it did. Plus the house is right around the corner from where we live now. Literally, right around the bend.

*****Picture Update:***************************************************************

Happy Friday to you all!!

Blessings

Just wanted to share a song that is near to my heart. It is so true to look back at past trials and see where they have lead me. During hard times I may  not understand why I am being put through such heartache, but I always know that God is laying out a foundation for a beautiful blessing. It may be to gain wisdom, patience, and knowledge. It could be to renew and strengthen your relationship with the Lord, or it could be to just give glory to Him. Truly, I have discovered many blessings in disguise. 

"Blessings"

By Laura Story

We pray for blessings
We pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
All the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love is way too much to give us lesser things

'Cause what if your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

We pray for wisdom
Your voice to hear
We cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt your goodness, we doubt your love
As if every promise from Your Word is not enough
All the while, You hear each desperate plea
And long that we'd have faith to believe

When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win
We know that pain reminds this heart
That this is not our home

What if my greatest disappointments
Or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can't satisfy
What if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are your mercies in disguise

http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/laurastory/blessings.html

My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations;

 Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience.

 But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing.

James 1:2-4

Just Because You Say It Doesn't Make It True

Just listened to this AMAZING sermon from the National Youth Conference our youth group just got back from. This sermon in particular lead two of Cooper's best buddies to salvation. (Teen daughters of our good friends) Praise God that He delivered Pastor Chalie Clark to preach such a message. Please find time to watch this. It is well worth the hour.
**********Just Because You Say It Doesn't Make It True | North Valley Baptist Church*************

Perspective

I've come to a place in life that has humbled me greatly. I've always been the type to quickly judge people before giving them a chance. Assuming the bad in people before allowing them to show me the good. It's a trait that I don't care for, and have chosen to banish that way of thinking forever. Being friendly with an open mind can open so many avenues if you just put in the effort. If a stranger approached me to make small talk or what not I usually would respond with simple small talk back, but for some reason I never knew how to handle it. I was raised to not carry on conversations with strangers to the point  that frightened me if someone even came close to me. I judged them as if they were going to harm or offend me in someway. It could be an old lady asking for directions-it didn't matter what they looked like, I always felt threatened.
In the last few years thankfully, I've come around to see a new perspective. Especially in the last 8 months.
This weekend God proved  this very point to me.


Friday, Joel was out of town cornering a teammate for a kickboxing tournament. When he got back he was telling me a story from when his team stopped to eat at McDonalds. He was waiting in line to order when he saw a young woman making small talk with this other lady in line. The lady was apparently well-put-together and very tall and. As my husband described it she was 8ft tall..anyway, the young woman kept commenting on how tall she was and joked about their size difference.
They separated waiting for their to-go orders and before the tall lady left she returned back to the woman and asked if she wanted to take a picture before she left. (The woman had joked about it earlier) They started chatting again and somehow it lead to the young woman laying out all the difficulties that she and her boyfriend were experiencing. This lead to a heartfelt prayer session lead by the tall woman. Tears were exchanged, and both the young couple and the tall lady left there feeling different from when they came. Something that started out as small talk at a fast-food joint lead to a witnessing experience that may have changed someone's life. I bet neither of them thought that casual banter of a height difference would have brought out such a raw, emotional experience. Joel was cheerful to see such an experience take place, and I was just as delighted to hear about it.


Saturday, I woke up early to prepare a full breakfast, brew a fresh pot of coffee, and pack a cooler full of goodies in hopes of a day outing. I had been yearning for a great day trip outdoors somewhere I could dip my toes in the water and get some sun on my shoulders. 
My  favorite memories always consist of jumping in the car with a sack lunch, sunblock, and towel looking for that special getaway. One where I can soak in a warm summer breeze, sweet aroma from blackberry bushes, and glistening waves bouncing on the lake. In the last two years there haven't been many opportunities for spontaneous trips to the lake. 
Cooper's first year was quite difficult with all the baggage that came along with his cleft. It seemed like there was always either doctors appointments, surgeries, or recovery from surgeries. This past summer we didn't have to worry about medical issues so much, as we did job relocation and moving and then before we knew it summer had passed. 
After breakfast we loaded up the car and headed out to a lake we had never visited. The water was very low and there were many boats zipping through what little water there was. We decided to venture down to the river bottoms to see if there were any nice toe dippin' spots. On our way down we spotted a nice little sandy beach with a trail down to it. As we were unloading, a truck pulled up and I heard a man's voice saying, "Ya know this is private property?!" Once I heard that I started loading up the car again and had to try to console Cooper who did not understand why we were getting back into the car. First thought was, "bummer, now we have to keep searching for a spot." I sat in the car listening to Joel shoot the breeze with the guy waiting for him to leave so we could continue our day. See, there's that attitude again. Through the screams and whines whaling out from one upset boy, I then heard Joel say, "Alright! I'll follow ya over there." Wait, what? Where are we going? I wondered. The gentleman that I already "passed judgement" on was actually a really neat man. He was one of the owners of the property and kindly decided to let us spend our day alone at the private lake. I was floored by his generosity and carried on a great conversation with him once we got down to a sandy beach. He told stories of how he raised his girls on this very lake and how he'll often let people who look like they'll be well behaved come down to the lake for a free pass. Many church groups have used it as well without any charge. This man just wants to make his late father happy by carrying on the heritage of doing good deeds. He gave us his number and left with a, "give me a call whenever you'd like to take your boy out swimmin' again. Or if you want to set up a time for your church to come out here." What an awesome experience we had. 


Not only did I get my wish of going out on an adventure, my expectations of the day were exceeded. I admire my husband for being such a people-person. He is always so friendly and handles situations with so much ease. It amazes me how much we differ when it comes to interacting with strangers. That's probably why he's always excelled in sales positions. Through our marriage he's enabled me to break down that wall that I've always had up. I've gone from a scared-y cat young woman who would refuse to call a customer service operator because I was too afraid to speak with a stranger and handle things that needed to be done, to a confident person who has opened up to the idea that not all people are bad. In fact many people are really just there to help or even brighten your day. Perspective. It really is one of the greatest deal breakers of whether you are going to give into fear, or conquer it. I'm so thankful that I have found strength through Christ to be able to change my ways to become a better person, wife, and mother.
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A few from earlier in the week:

Happy Day Everyone!

Salt and Light

May was such a busy month for the Douglas family. Early in the month I had a fun maternity shoot with a first time mom who will be welcoming a sweet baby boy to her family soon.
In that same week we opened our house to a young newlywed couple from Lancaster Baptist Church. A tour group from West Coast Baptist College was performing at our church that Sunday and they needed a place to stay for 3 nights before heading off to Placerville. Joel volunteered to take them in knowing we have plenty of space in our house. With us being fairly new to church, we've never had house guests and  didn't know what to expect.
Fortunately, that Saturday we were able to spend some time with the whole tour group and get to know them during our church's teen formal. As part of our youth group, there's an annual teen formal to celebrate the seniors in the class who are soon to graduate high school. All the teens dress up and go to a fancy restaurant and have fellowship. Before dinner the WCBC group performed a funny skit, sang a few songs, and had a really great message for the teens about maintaining a pure, Godly life as they grow into young adulthood.

 I'm still amazed and kind of jealous I never even knew that there were groups out there like this until now. It's so fantastic that we have young Christians who spend their entire summer touring around the country to honor God and  develop relationships through fellowship. I am ecstatic that Cooper will be exposed to this kind of life and see how these groups of students, missionaries, and evangelists are willing to fully dedicate their lives to spreading the Word to others. The most amazing thing is that they do it selflessly and with so much joy and happiness.

As I'm typing I'm getting all worked up about how great of an experience we had! Anyway, following the performances we all headed into town to eat at this fancy restaurant that captured a Victorian style ambiance. It was very...pink. The walls were painted pink with paintings strategically placed throughout the room.

I sat next to the young woman who'd be staying with us and was able to get to know a little bit about her and her husband. She was a little gal from Tennessee with just a hint of a southern accent.
The night concluded with fro yo and pictures. Lots of pictures.

The next few nights we shared great fellowship and lovely dinners with other church members while the tour group was visiting. I can't even describe how much this experience affected me. I was very hesitant about the entire weekend at first. I didn't know what to expect and I was nervous that it would be super awkward having strangers stay with us. Our experience was polar opposite. Everyone was so kind and comforting like we've known them for years. It was a sense of family, which in reality it was. Even though we just met them for the first time, we are family and children of God. He will always tie us together as long as we all have the personal goal to live for, love, and honor God. It's such a wonderful thing.
Tuesday morning the group headed back out on the road to the next part of their journey. I was left a nice little care package including a CD of the WCBC tour group, some homemade blackberry jam from a lady at their church back in Lancaster, a book we discussed earlier in the visit Off Script by Cary Schmidt, and a nice thank you card from the couple. What a great group of people who genuinely know what love is and can share it with anyone who crosses their path. It was a wake up call for me to have that same kind of love and attitude towards others. After all we are the salt and light of the earth.
I just finished reading the book Off Script and would highly recommend it. It follows the journey of a man from Lancaster Baptist Church who was diagnosed with cancer and shows what his perspective was through all of it- good and bad. It's a great book in learning the ways to handle trials that you're hit with in life. Cary Schmidt is the author to several other books that I'm adding to my reading list. He also has a free book online called Done. You can get it HERE
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Our trip to the fair this year. Cooper had a BLAST! 

Beauty of the Heart

Things are certainly looking up this week,  Cooper became a big brother to Bailey Grace. No, he's not a literal brother but he has the heart of one. Last Saturday, just one week after the passing of Caster, we added an 8 week old English Pointer to our family. She is such a well behaved dog and does so great with us. Cooper has been learning to bring Bailey her toys and tell her to sit, along with other commands we use.

Last Wednesday, Joel and I celebrated our 3 year wedding anniversary. Our friends were nice enough to volunteer to watch Coop so we could have a quiet dinner just the two of us. It was refreshing to just focus on eating without lugging in toys, sippies, snacks, etc. to keep a toddler entertained. 

The weather has been so beautiful. Spring is surely here and we're soaking it up by opening all the windows  allowing a pleasant breeze to pass through the house. I also set up a clothes line to absorb all the fragrance expelling from the orange tree blossoms. The smell is to die for. 

Mr. Cooper is now a huge help with everything. He opens the door when I have groceries to bring in, throws away trash and always picks up toys. He insists on helping with laundry, sweeping, and doing yard work. Hey, I couldn't ask for more. He's going to make his wife very happy in the future if he keeps this up. He even picked a bouquet of roses for the house.

Yesterday Joel brought home another fish tank and wanted to have some good quality father-son time. Completely drenched head-to-toe, they both got the bonding time that was needed.

As of today, I am watching our friends' daughter part time when needed. She is such a doll and Cooper adores her. I made an effort not to tell Cooper so that it would be a complete surprise for when he woke this morning. It was priceless seeing his smile appear when he looked at her. Pure instincts came into play when he went to his room and pulled out all the "baby" toys that are stashed away. He came out and surrounded her with his old toys. Every time her paci fell, he took initiative and placed it back into her little mouth. During lunch I even caught him sitting next to her at the table, feeding her rice puffs by hand. When they both fell sleepy Cooper rested his head upon hers and my heart just melted. Such a little guy with such a huge heart. I pray that he'll keep that way and be nurturing towards others. 

It's time I sign off. My tender-hearted  boy is awaking...