April 21, 2012

This weekend was weekend full of good and bad; one that I will remember after many years pass. Saturday we  opened our house to friends and family to celebrate Cooper's 2nd Birthday. It was hot, hot, hot! Last year we celebrated with a bbq in the rain, so I guess we got what we wanted...plus another 10 degrees.

This is Coop attempting to make only 2 fingers go up:

It would only be fitting that we went with a cars, train, and anything with wheels theme for the party. Topped off with a cheesy car pinata-you know, the knock off that resembles Lightning McQueen. Cooper didn't seem to mind the cheesiness.

Most of the party took place outside in what felt like 100 degree weather. Grandma saved the day with a slip-n-slide that kept the kids cool and happy and the adults had a blast watching the young in's.

Great Gram was able to get a pass from her nursing home to join in the festivities. I think Saturday added another 5 years to her life! They say laughter is the best medicine.

Joel's grandparents from Vegas were expected to come for a visit Saturday before heading off on vacation. That morning we got a call from them informing us that not only one flight got cancelled, but two were cancelled due to maintenance issues. Bummed, we continued on with the prepping and hoped they would find a way to make it. Luckily, right before we did presents they showed up! It was a stressful mess getting here, but they made it and brightened Joel's day.

I say brightened his day because early that morning before the phone call or any company, I was outside decorating and noticed our dog Caster was acting a bit off. He was wheezing and his nose was all cracked and dry. He was also lethargic and looked eerily skinny. I've noticed he wasn't eating as much as usual but really didn't think anything of it. First thing that came to mind is, oh it's hot out now...ice water will make him feel better. Nope, he took a few licks and plopped down. Then I thought, he loves runs, I'm gonna take him around the block. Leash in hand ready to go, we headed to the sidewalk and then my arm jolted when he stopped in his tracks. He must feel crummy if he doesn't want to go for a walk. Then I figured he might want to take a shower. Since we moved into this house he's been an outside dog so he was definitely due for some cleaning. Fresh and fluffy clean, and still not any happier. Joel and I didn't know what to do. We were about to expect guests for the party, and decided to keep a close eye on him during the party.
This is where I was torn. I was expected to host a joyful party for my son. Be the hostess with the most-test. As the party went on I was taking pictures of the kids slippin' away on the slide, then sneaking off to the garage where my first baby was wheezing away in agony. I knew these were going to be the last days if not hours of his life so I wanted so badly to just sit with him and give him all the love I had. Unfortunately, this is where I felt that internal parenting instinct. I was hurting knowing I was losing my dog, but I had to be there to put on a smiling face for my son. He didn't know what was going on. He knew it was his special day to play with friends and family. I had to maintain the morale in this place. It is my job as a mother and wife to keep the spirits high and know that the Lord gave, and the Lord hath taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord. Job 1:21

The party continued as if there was not a worry in the world. People helped themselves to a taco bar, sang Happy Birthday, laughed as Cooper blew out his two candles, and nobody seemed to notice anything was wrong. Mission accomplished. After a few whacks at the pinata....(we were later told it was a pinata where you pull the strings to let out the candy) presents were opened, and guests started weeding out.

Thankfully most were gone when Caster came out and started showing signs that it was definitely time he needed care.
A few hours later and a prognosis of failure to thrive, our Caster was reunited with his wifey Susie Q in heaven.
I am grateful for the opportunity of being the owner of Caster for the last five years. He was my graduation gift from Joel back when we were dating. A companion to all our fishing trips, camping adventures, and countless moves. He was a happy, goofy, deaf dog that brought much joy to our family. Cooper's first friend and heater of the bed during cold Magalia winters. Caster, we love you and will always remember you.

*** Click here for video of Coop and Caster one day before.***

 April 2007-April 21, 2012

Back to the lesson I learned. This experience was one I knew I'd reach someday, just not as soon as it came. I'm going to face many factors in life where I'll have to stay strong for my family through tough times. Dogs get old, people get old, and they pass on. The awful yet beautiful way of life. You mourn the losses, but find all the good you've had with all the memories of your loved one. You get the chance to reflect the full sum of the person's life and cherish it with every ounce of your being. You learn to love in a whole new way.
Back when Cooper was diagnosed in Dec. 2009 I could have taken the news as devastating. Crying out to God in anger and questioning why?! But as that technician uttered those life changing words, I felt at peace in some odd way knowing God was working in my life. I didn't know what His plan was or why, but I knew that He had control and it would benefit me if I just chose to trust Him. Looking back my eyes are opened as to why Cooper was born that way. I am beyond glad I put my trust in Him rather than questioning. It's not worth it to fight against God's will, all it will bring is anxiety and frustration. This is the way I live my life:
Trust in thy Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct thy paths. Proverbs 3:5-6

April 21, 2012: Happy early Birthday my Cooper. Caster, we will always love you.

Sandy Claws

I started the morning with full ambition to tackle all the yard work in the back yard. I mowed, and picked up fruit, and got a chance to do a little gardening. I felt proud and accomplished. But then I was bored. I found myself doing project after project. Gardening led to cleaning old pots and slapping a new coat of paint on them. Which led to cleaning out Coop's sandbox, which led to making a full on picnic prep for when Coop woke from his 3 HOUR nap.

Boy I couldn't tell you how anxious I was to share the beautiful day with my funny little guy. It was one of those days when I said, "eh, what's a little sand gonna hurt?" Normally I cringe at the thought of Coop playing in his sand box. He always manages to turn the yard into a beach. Not so nice sand between the toes...and the carpet..and the shower..and of course the washing machine. This day in particular though, I let go. And I liked it.

What the face of someone in desperate need of help?? Oh, this is..

 All the projects in the world could never stop me from taking a time out for myself to play with my bay-bay.

Long Road Traveled

Some mornings I wake up and find this kid in my baby's crib. At first I'm taken aback. Then I realize he is no stranger, in fact it is proof that my baby has been replaced with a 23 month old toddler. In one month our little Cooper will hit the glorious 2 year mark.

Pause for a moment, and take in all the innocence seeping from his little body..

 

We've been living like there's no tomorrow in the best way possible. Not a single moment is being taken for granted. There's just too much to miss if we do.

 

 

Late evening walk to see the neighbors horse=building memories for our son.

 

At 23 months, Cooper is Mr. Independent as usual. He loves to show everyone he's a big boy who can do so much without any help. Call him a strong willed child, but I don't see that as a bad quality. Our son shows us that he is motivated to accomplish things on his own. 

He is almost fully potty trained, cleans up ALL his toys whenever he's done playing, throws trash away without being asked, and loves to help when he sees something wrong. Voluntarily, he decided to be my little helper in the yard by pulling weeds making piles of brush and throwing out fallen fruit.  Start 'em young and they'll keep good habits I guess.

 

I'm filled with joy seeing something that was once growing inside me become a mini person. One who is entitled to his own thoughts and emotions. I am proud of the little man he's showing me he can grow up to be.

 

At this point I know Cooper will need some sort of speech therapy due to his cleft. He uses the back of his throat to make most of his sounds which is preventing him to make most consonant sounds. Dog is gog, car is cah, bye is guy, and help is hepp. He has a great vocabulary but it is very difficult for others to understand. Sometime in the next few months we'll get him evaluated to see what we might be able to do to help correct his impediment. For now, we'll just soak in all his cute little made up words. 

 

This next picture reminds me of an outdoorsy car ad.

 

The first of many fishing trips with Dad. Here Coop is helping with the bait..little did he know at that point he was holding live worms. Once he saw what was in the bag he threw it down and said, "uh ugh!"

 

There's beauty in the dullest of places. You just have to open your eyes. Of course I had to figure this out since we fished at the nastiest mosquito infested water hole in town.  

 

 

Story in just 4 photos:

 

 

 

The fish must have been full that evening. Not even a bite. Like the Trace Adkins song says, 

"She ain’t even thinkin’ ‘bout 
What’s really goin’ on right now
But I guarantee this memory’s a big’in
And she thinks we’re just fishin"

 

 

Unfortunately, this is probably as close as I'm gonna get to a momma/son portrait.

 

 

I hope he grows up to conquer all his goals. 

 

 

 

 What brings a glimmer of happy happy joy shine into your life?

Watching Coop try to raise his eyebrows back at momma makes my heart bounce up and down. 

 

 

There's so much to learn on our journey ahead. This statement is proven by how much Joel and I have grown in the past 23 months. It's been a long road traveled, but there's so much still ahead.  

 

 

Have a blessed day everyone!