Real Love

Not like it's a rare occasion, but I'm having trouble sleeping tonight. I can't help but think how fast the year has gone by. Just this month I came to the realization that my baby will be turning two in just four months. Truthfully, it saddens me to know that the last bit of baby-hood stage is close to its demise. I've been looking back at old photos and I can vividly remember every feeling and emotion. It was hard being a first time mom to a cleft baby, some days it was downright exhausting. But really,  when I think about having another child I don't have fear. I pray at night letting God know that if he hands me another cleft baby, I can handle it. In fact I'd almost be satisfied with it knowing the bond I developed with Cooper through our whole experience. It's all I know. Of course I would love another child regardless if he/she had special needs or was considered perfectly intact. I'm just so thankful for the humbling experience. I never thought I could love my child so immensely, but each day seeing him grow into a little kid is so gratifying.  Here's a poem I came across on my BabyCenter board that really struck a chord in me:

Special child 

You weren’t like other children,

And God was well aware,

You’d need a caring family,

With love enough to share.

... And so He sent you to us,

And much to our surprise,

You haven’t been a challenge,

But a blessing in disguise.

Your winning smiles and laughter,

The pleasures you impart,

Far outweigh your special needs,

And melt the coldest heart.

We’re proud that we’ve been chosen,

To help you learn and grow,

The joy that you have brought us,

Is more than you can know.

A precious gift from Heaven,

A treasure from above,

A child who’s taught us many things,

But most of all- “Real Love"

So true!

Okay, they may be cousins but this is too cute!

The past few weeks Cooper has become such a chatter-box and overall just a funny character to be around. He's continuing  the tradition of,  "I love you thiiiis much!" This is where we spread our arms as far as we can and hit the wall on "accident" then say "Ow!" He thinks it is hilarious, as did I when I was little, as well as my mother when she was little.

Spiderman beanie Joel's Aunt made for Coop 

Over Christmas, Cooper acquired a gazillion matchbox cars. (Literally, a gazillion.) He is also a proud owner to not one but two drumsets, a train table, a Cozy Coupe, and of course a remote control car.

After putting Coop down tonight, I sat on the couch, flipped on the tv and said to Joel, "I miss him already." Crazy I know. Normally I put him down and consider it mommy time. Tonight though I think he knew I missed him, because an hour after I put him down he woke up crying my name. Let me tell you, this never happens. The boy likes his sleep, so waking up during the night is extremely rare. By the time I got to him he was fast asleep. I got to spy on my sleeping boy. Once again, never happens. That is until Joel came in and woke him. Then it was mommy to the rescue! Coop knows me well and I think he just knew I needed one last dose of lovins' before bed. 

It's hard watching Cooper grow out of his baby-hood, but I know there's so much brightness in our future. So many things to look forward to; maybe even a sibling or two. Who knows? This phase has passed and all I can do is look back on the last couple years and love all that we've been through. Good and bad.

Surprise! I have another cousin kissing picture. Good blackmail for when they are teenagers. Muah ha ha. Happy New Year Everyone!